3 Bold Things You Can Do To Improve Your Relationship With Social Media
2019 is a strange time to be alive. In previous generations we would have our mothers, maybe grandmothers, and our neighbors as examples in parenting. We would focus on our own homes and our own children, and we would go to bed at night being happy with what we have accomplished.
Now we are bombarded daily, not only with the examples of our previous generations who had skills no longer taught in schools, but we are placing ourselves face to face, through technology, with people who seemingly do everything better than us, or they have teams who edit their lives to look better, but that’s a separate story.
We allow ourselves to believe that everything we do must be “Pinterest worthy” and that if we are not constantly ridiculously happy, throwing dance parties, putting our kids in expensive private lessons, and wearing the fanciest clothes on our tiniest bodies, we are failing… as mothers and as humans.
Well, I am here to tell you that this is crazy! We simply cannot take these carefully orchestrated, and most likely photoshopped glimpses into other people’s lives and compare it with ourselves in the very moment when we are feeling so down on ourselves that we are resorting to social media for entertainment.
So how do we realize that we are enough? How do we recognize that I and only I am the perfect parent for my own children? What can we do so that we stop comparing ourselves with others and simply focus on being the very best mother that we can possibly be?
Well, I obviously don’t have all the answers, but I would like to offer a few tips that have worked for me.
If someone doesn’t make you happy, you don’t have any obligation to follow them.
When I was in High School, I was so excited to grow up, because all those silly popularity games would be over, and I could just focus on being me and only me. Little did I know that social media would turn into High School popularity games on steroids! We can easily feel like we have to follow all the right people, and do the right things in our virtual world, so that we can be popular enough to be someone. We can also quickly get down on ourselves because someone else is more beautiful, talented, fun, or rich than us.
I would like to propose something a little bit crazy. What if we went through each one of our social media “friends” and applied a little Marie Kondo into it. What if we stopped at each and every name and asked ourselves, does following this person “spark joy”? if not, we don’t need to follow them!
Crazy, right? But I promise you, your social media experience will be so much happier if you are only following people who bring joy into your life. The good news is that social media has now evolved so that we can quietly unfollow someone without completely unfriending them, so we can keep our real life friendships in tact if we just need to temporarily stop seeing someone while we work through some things.
Set apart certain days (or weeks) when you completely sign out of social media altogether.
I have done this a couple of times, and let me tell you, it is life-changing! It will really change the way you approach social media, and frankly, your life. When I did this, some of the things that stood out to me most were:
How much my scrolling was keeping me from accomplishing real things. Those days that I was off social media were by far some of my most productive days ever.
How much happier I am when I allow myself to be truly present with my family, my thoughts, and my surroundings.
How little excitement I had when I was able to get back on social media again. The first day off, I thought it would be so amazing to go back, but on my last few days, I found myself a little sad that my “me” time was coming to an end.
When you pick up your phone, ask yourself, “Is my digital world really better than my physical world?”
When I have done this, and stopped to actually look at my physical world, I have been shocked at what I was just about to give up! I almost missed the sweetest moment between my two children. I almost missed the amazingly vivid colors of the budding flowers. I almost missed the majestic herd of deer running right outside my window.
If we are to truly look at our lives, I am pretty sure we will realize that more often than not, the reality we are impulsively trying to escape from, is actually a much sweeter place to be than wherever we were heading on the internet.
Sometimes I find that physical reminders can be helpful, so I have created a lock screen to help remind myself to stay present. You can download a free one by clicking on the image below.
2019 is also an incredibly amazing time to be alive. We have the power to instantly connect with people in different countries and continents, the power to continue to be inspired and uplifted, and the ability to stay in touch with people that we would not have been able to do with such ease in previous generations. As we make conscious decisions, I have no doubt that we will be able to use social media as a tool for good in our homes and communities and not give it any power to control us.
I am putting together a social media challenge in the very near future. If you want to create a better relationship with you family and friends, be more confident in your own body, and maybe even save some money (yes please!) please subscribe to our newsletter at the bottom of this page.